Actress Brooke Shields says the devastating effects of post-partum depression after her first child pushed her to the brink of suicide.
Shields, who has two daughters, Rowan, six, and three-year-old Grier, with husband Chris Henchy, suffered from severe post-natal depression and didn’t think her life was worth carrying on with.
“I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t hold her and I couldn’t sing to her and I couldn’t smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die” she said about the birth of Rowan.
Her birth followed a miscarriage and seven in-vitro fertilization attempts, Brooke said.
“I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go.”
Brooke, 44, was described medication for her depression but stopped taking it, thinking she didn’t need it, which resulted in almost fatal consequences.
Sheilds spoke about her experiences on Monday (Nov. 16) in New York, where she was receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation,
“That was the week I almost did not resist driving my car straight into a wall on the side of the freeway. My baby was in the back seat and that even p***ed me off because I thought she’s even ruining this for me.
“I just wanted to drive into the wall and my friend stayed on the phone with me until I got home safely,” she told People magazine.
Brooke later called her doctor to ask for more help, and was eventually diagnosed with a chemical imbalance.
“I learned what was going on inside my body and what was going on inside my brain. I learned I wasn’t doing anything wrong to feel that way. That it was actually out of my control,” she said.
Millions of women suffer from post-partum depression, after having children and often don’t realize it. The affliction has been related to hormonal imbalances.
Shields was involved in a highly publicized spat with actor Tom Cruise, who criticized her for taking drugs to treat her condition.
Cruise adheres to Scientology, a pseudo-religion that doesn’t believe in mental illnesses. The “Mission Impossible” actor later apologized for criticizing her.
