Jennifer Lopez implied Ben Affleck was the love of her life, saying she never knew true heartbreak until Ben dumped her in 2004.
Lopez said the reason why she married singer Marc Anthony so quickly after her romance with Affleck ended is because she was deeply hurt, and Marc was ready to step in to help her heal.
“[Ben] was probably my first big heartbreak,” Jennifer told the Today Show.
In a surprise admission, Lopez said she never felt truly worthy of love, and continues to work on her self-esteem.
“It’s still a work in progress for me,” said JLo. “It’s how you feel as a child, you know? Being a middle child and kind of being invisible sometimes, or you know, trying to get the attention.
“So what did I do? I overachieved. I was the one who ran track and I won medals every weekend. Or I was the one who would go on the show and steal the show, and that would give me confidence. But there was a part of me that just wanted love, that she felt like she wasn’t worthy of the love.”
The three-times divorced Jennifer discussed her past relationships and emotional evolution in her tell-all memoir, True Love.
In “True Love,” Lopez revealed she was emotionally abused in past relationships. She now realizes that was a critical mistake.
“I’ve never gotten a black eye or a busted lip, but I’ve felt abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally,” Lopez wrote.
Jennifer was previously married to waiter/chef Ojani Noa (1997-1998) and to dancer Cris Judd from 2001 to 2003. Lopez and Anthony, who were married from 2004 to 2014, have two children: 6-year-old twins, Max and Emme.
Jennifer is flying high since releasing A.K.A., her eighth studio album. At 45, Lopez maintains her age-defying good looks, thanks to a dairy free, mostly vegan diet and rigorous 90-minute workouts with her trainer, Tracy Anderson.
“She does the Tracy Anderson Method, which includes muscular structure work and between nine and 13 different exercises that change every 10 days, and dance aerobics as well,” said Anderson, who revealed her weight loss secrets in the bestselling book, Tracy Anderson’s 30-Day Method.
Anderson’s workouts with JLo typically combine high-intensity cardio dance exercise with light strength-training using body weight and high repetitions done with tiny hand weights (three pounds maximum).
In April 2014, Lopez credited a five-week vegan diet for her 10-pound weight loss. JLo is no longer 100 percent vegan, but sticks to a mostly vegan diet because it has motivated her to eat more vegetables.
Lopez revealed her weight loss, diet, relationship and happiness secrets in her book, True Love.
Related: Jennifer Lopez reveals anti-aging beauty and weight loss secrets to Dr. Oz